


After the Fog

by Sherwhotreksings



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-05 12:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5374529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherwhotreksings/pseuds/Sherwhotreksings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma brings Killian back and they come to terms with everything that happened before he died. A sort of companion to Into the Waiting Fog, but you can read either without the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Fog

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. That's all I have to say about this one.

She knew it’d be hard getting back to the way they were, but she didn’t realize how hard. It’s been days and they can barely look at each other, barely talk to each other, and yet she panics every time he’s out of her sight. She can’t exactly follow him from room to room, he needs his own space. She’s more than a little disappointed that he’s not next to her, wrapped around each other whenever possible.

She picks up the pillow she’s been using as a Killian substitute, squeezing it tightly to her chest. “Killian?” She calls out quietly when he hasn’t returned to the living room after eight minutes.

“I’m still here,” he sounds defeated.

She can’t help but wonder if he’s annoyed at how clingy she’s been and that’s why he keeps leaving the room. They should really talk about what happened and what was said.

“Are you still angry?” She sounds defeated too.

His footsteps echo down the hallway until he is standing in front of her. 

“That was only the darkness talking. I’m not angry at you.” He turns to walk back out of the room. 

“But the darkness draws from actual feelings.” She pulls her legs into her body. 

He heaves a sigh and sits down on the opposite side of the couch. “Aye.”

“I understand that you didn’t want to be a Dark One and I’m sorry for that, really, but I didn’t want to- couldn’t live without you.”

“I understand you now, but you turned me into the thing I spent centuries trying to kill. The thing that killed my love, my Milah. You betrayed me,” he spits out, his real anger rising. “And then you controlled me.”

She recoils slightly when he mentions Milah. “I trusted you, but you didn’t trust yourself. That’s why I kept the sword from you at first.”

It doesn’t seem fair that she’s trying to mend him, when he’s the one that said he hates her, that she’ll always be an orphan because she makes it herself, that she’s just a blonde distraction. He played her in the middlemist field. That kiss might have only been a decoy. His reaction when she said she loves him might have only been acting. She knows the last part isn’t true. He does love her, but he also hates her.

“You know what, I don’t really want to deal with this right now.” He stands up and she can see the anger coursing through his veins, muscles tense.

“Right, because we are getting to the part where you say me being an orphan is my own fault, and that you hate me for what I did to you. The part where you feel like a lovesick puppy chasing after me.” Her voice is raising also.

“Because it’s hard constantly assuring you that I’m not going anywhere! For each wall I tear down three more pop up!” He shouts, breathing heavily. They both pause.

Her heart drops, he’s been mad but he’s never yelled. She did this. It’s her fault.

“Don’t make me talk about this. I can’t hurt you anymore,” he pleads. 

His whole facade drops and she can see the pain in his eyes for the first time. This isn’t about what she did to him, but rather what he did to her. He’s mad because he couldn’t control himself as the Dark One and hurt her. 

“It hurts me more that you refuse to talk to me about how you feel, than what was actually said.” She crawls down to where he’s standing by the armrest, reaching out to take his hand. 

Her fingers brush the back of his and he twitches away. He doesn’t deserve for her to be so understanding. 

“Killian,” she cries out as he walks away from her, leaving her sobbing on the couch. 

He needs time to calm down and collect himself before having this emotional conversation with her, but she doesn’t realize that’s all he’s doing.

He returns ten minutes later in his lounge pants and soft t-shirt, and sits down next to her. “Let’s talk and then I’m going to bed.” 

She glances at the clock below the TV, 8:00 pm.

“I hate myself for hurting you. I hate myself for not being able to control the darkness. I hate myself for making you watch me die a fourth time and that you were the one to do it. I hate myself for all the killing I’ve done. That is why I can’t look you in the eye, Swan. It’s eating away at me and I don’t know how to stop it.” It all rushes out in one breath.

She looks at him, really looks at him, for the first time since they returned. His eyes are sunken in, his cheeks hollow. Overall he looks very grey. It’s not a happy sight. 

“You told me back in Camelot to trust you to help me with my burden. This house was supposed to be a promise that you wouldn’t leave me, let it do the same for you. I’m not going to leave you just because we had a fight, granted one blown up by the Dark One,” she chuckles mirthlessly. “You can trust me to help you through this. We can make it through this together. We both have problems to work out, who better to do it with than your-” she pauses mid sentence, not sure whether it’s okay to call him her true love. She does it anyway. “-true love?”

Her own insecurities about their fight can wait. He has been there for her through every wall she’s thrown up to keep others out. It’s the least she can do right now.

She cautiously reaches out again and this time he doesn’t jerk away, this time he links their fingers together. Her eyes travel from her their joined hands, up his arm to his face, and finally meeting his intense stare.

“Aye. True love indeed.” He gives her hand a gentle squeeze. “You always manage to soothe the storms inside me.” He pulls her into his chest and whispers into her hair, “I’m sorry for everything I said to you. I’m a lesser man for it.”

She feels his chest vibrate with his voice and tips her head back to look up at him. She runs a hand through his hair. “What you said hurt. I’m not excusing you, but I’m forgiving you.” She searches his eyes to make sure he understands what she’s saying. “You mean the world to me, you and Henry are my world. There’s very little that you could say that would change how I feel about you.” She kisses him slowly, allowing him to stop her if he wants, but he doesn’t.


End file.
